Saturday, December 22, 2007

Major Brothers Update


- The Major brothers, now aligning themselves with Edge have had a gimmick change and are now known as Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins. Collectively they will be the "Edge Heads," a pair of crazy Edge fans.

FYI, The Major Brothers "Real Names" are not their real names. Its like when Johnny Nitro became John Morrison.

DarkDefender85's Top 25


  1. Edge - The Rated R Superstar climbs to the top after beating Batista and The Undertaker.
  2. Jeff Hardy - The Swantoning Superstar is on the roll of his life after beating HHH and Randy Orton.
  3. HBK - The Showstopper stopped Mr. Kennedy with Sweet Chin Music.
  4. Batista - After losing the World Title and losing again on Smackdown, it looks like the Animal has been put to sleep.
  5. CM Punk - A Dq win over MVP and a 6 man tag win help Punk this week.
  6. Rey Mysterio - A countout win over MVP helps the 619er.
  7. Randy Orton - The WWE Champion is coming up sweet with a loss to Chris Jericho and getting pinned by Jeff Hardy.
  8. HHH - The Game seems to be on pause, making fun of Vince McMahon isnt going to help HHH.
  9. Finlay - A Win over The Great Khali skyrockets Finlay in the Top 25.
  10. The Undertaker - He didnt get pinned at Armageddon but didnt win the gold.
  11. Big Daddy V - Pinning the ECW Champion helps ECWs Monster.
  12. MVP - The US Champion isnt acting like a champion these days.
  13. Ric Flair - The Nature Boy will not go quiet into that good night.
  14. Chris Jericho - A war of words with JBL and a DQ win over Orton help Jericho.
  15. Mr. Kennedy - In impressive match with HBK help Kennedy.
  16. Rhodes and Holly - The new tag champion keep the gold after beating Cade and Murdoch.
  17. Shelton Benjamin - The new gold standard of ECW keeps on winning.
  18. Carlito and Santino - The new tag team get a win over London and Kendrick.
  19. Miz and Morrison - The WWE Tag Champion tasted defeat on ECW.
  20. Umaga - The Samoan Bulldozer plowed through a barricade but lost to Ric Flair.
  21. Mark Henry - The World Strongest Man got a win with Big Daddy V by his side.
  22. Moore Wang - Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang proved to be a lethal combo with a win over the WWE Tag Team Champions.
  23. Ryder and Hawkings - The Former Major Brothers helped Edge win and keep the World Title this week.
  24. Jesse and Festus - The Odd Pair get a win after Festus beat Domino.
  25. The Great Khali - The Giant got toppled by a Fighting Irishman

Monday, December 17, 2007

WWE Armageddon: Afterthoughts

Last night, WWE Armageddon went down live from Pittsburgh, PA (where earlier in the day my Jaguars stomped all over the Steelers), and the night saw several impressive performances, and even a couple shockers.

The first match of the night would see MVP facing off against Rey Mysterio with the US title on the line. MVP would manage to squeak by, losing by way of count out, but keeping his title in the process.

Afterthought: Where do they go from here? MVP is established as a tweener, but this is his latest in many lackluster feuds. It's time to get the US strap off of him, and get him involved in something mainevent status. I think he could pull it off.

Match numero dos came to use from the ECW front, as CM Punk and Kane squared off against Big Daddy V and Mark Henry. As to be expected, V and Henry put the squash on, with BDV pinning Punk.

Afterthought: Lame. Punk didn't belong in this "feud" to begin with. ECW in itself is really an afterthought. I can't even tell you the last time I watched it. Which channel is Sci-Fi?

The third match of the night had all the makings to be an instant classic, and really in my opinion should have been saved for closer to Wrestlemania - because it featured my two favorite RAW superstars, Mr. Kennedy and Shawn Michaels going one on one. Unfortunately for Mr. K, Shaw Michaels never fails to impress, as he landed some SCM for the win.

Afterthought: Definitely an instant classic. Too bad it was on an Armageddon.

Match four was for a WWE title shot at the Royal Rumble, and it saw former allies Triple H and Jeff Hardy squaring off. Surprising to me and everyone else, Jeff Hardy pulled out the win, with a quick flip over pin. WWE.com states that HHH isn't to happy, and could be looking for revenge tonight.

Afterthought: I don't expect to see Jeff Hardy facing anyone for the WWE Championship at the Rumble. I Do expect to see Triple H somehow win that shot away from him. Who knows where this one is going?

Up next was The Great Khali versus Finlay, and in Fin's corner - Hornswoggle! Believe it or not, after a lowblow from Hornswoggle, Finlay nails Khali with a second shillelagh and gets the pin!

Afterthough: Whaaaaaa. This was a take a piss match.

Next, Chris Jericho finally returned, and in doing so he claimed a shot at Randy Orton's WWE title. He didn't win a shot, he just came back and said he was taking one. I guess that's good enough? Anyways, just when it looked like Jericho had the match in the bag, with Orton locked in the Walls of Jericho, JBL came out of nowhere and delivered a vicious kick right to the side of Jericho's head! The referee calls for the bell and Jericho is awarded the DQ victory, but what the hell?

Afterthought: WHAT THE FUCK?! Where did JBL come from, and WHY?! Rumors are he attacks Jericho again on the Christmas in Iraq special, which airs on Christmas Eve. Man oh man, now there's a feud I wouldn't mind seeing. Guess Jericho is going to Smackdown? They need him!

Women's title match. Who gives a shit. The big blonde bitch beats the lesbian bitch, retains her title.

Afterthought: Mickie James has massive labia.

MAINEVENT: Triple Threat match for the World Heavyweight Title. Edge vs Undertaker vs Batista. In the second big "shocker" of the night, Edge came away with his second World Title win, after using two DECOY EDGES (the Major Brothers) to distract Undertaker and Batista! Surprising, I know.

Afterthought: Holy Shit Three Edges?! I guess it's better than Batista as champ - cuz he sucks.

Well that's it, another WWE pay per view in the bag. Almost time for the Road to Wrestlemania to begin, and you can expect all the late-breaking news leading up to the big night right here at Ultra Wrestling Roundup!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

CM Punk is a fuckass.

I never ever understood what the big deal was about CM Punk. The matches of his I have seen were boring as shit, he does nothing new or thrilling. And hes got a fuckin Pepsi tattoo or some shit. And I HATE Pepsi. And the whole straight edge gimmick is just gay.... hey speaking of....

remember the beer bash at the end of the 15th Anniversary of Raw show? Yeah.... I happened to watch it.... and I remember seeing CM Punk out there, drinking beer.... straight edge? Drinking beer? Way to keep your gimmick going you stupid piece of shit. IRS and Repo Man shoulda kicked your ass for being a queer.

I hate you CM Punk, you no talent assbag. And I hate Pepsi.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Wrestlezone needs to learn them some Math Skills!

Ol Wrestlezone is at it again. This site is now known as the, WRESTLEZONE IS RETARDED LETS MAKE FUN OF THEM site.

Today, king knucklehead Ryan Clark reports....

“The Condemned” starring Steve Austin has done over $20.91 million in the video market which is more than triple what the film did in theaters.

Now,
“The Condemned” made just over 8 million dollars in theaters....

Lets see.... 8 X 3 = 24.

Meaning... there is no way The Condemned has made triple what id did in theaters.

Try again Ryan.